I Am ~ I.

A Little Story

‘Breaking the mould: Put an end to a restrictive pattern or events or behaviour by doing things in a markedly different way’

I Am 

I Am although I haven’t

I haven’t just been – No

Got caught in the half-light

Although I can tell you

I do know

That place

My place

Deep down

Deep

Deep-down-inside

Right there 

Where it hurts 

Where it hurts AND it’s light 

Right there

Right there

In that place

Deep-down-inside

Knowing what’s wrong

What’s wrong from what is right 

It is where I Am

Where I AM

In the light 

I haven’t just been – No

Although I have been there before

Been a strange couple of days

Self-doubt in the way 

But I frequent this space often

Usually more and more 

I reside in this place

Know how to navigate 

My wrong from my rights

Believe in myself

Reach myself as I Am 

Deep

Down

Deep

Down

Inside

In the light

*

*

I Am 

Optimistic

Energised

And Ignited 

I Am angry

Not furious

But fused

Ready for action

Infused

The propulsion

The drama of heartbreak  

A lifetime of suppressing 

I Am not broken just bruised

The rage

And the lessons

Imbedded right here 

In my centre

Then a little to the left 

And up – that’s where

I Am Alert

Not sick nor tired

But lit

The power of learning

Not a good girl

Not bad 

Not complying

Not a girl 

But a woman

And 

Armed 

Big feelings

Big hurt

Big rage

Big smiles

Big Love

Big questions

Breaking the mould

The structure 

Their structure

Not mine 

In a culture

That’s moving 

Too fast

It is careless 

Polluting 

Degrading

Not listening

But YELLING

‘You are too much’

‘Too vocal’

‘It’s awkward’

You ARE

Is not

I Am

But they’re trying

*

*

In a world that is telling – suppressing her voice

Sit down

Just shush 

Just shut the fuck up

Making her believe that we all have no choice 

It’s time now – we’re done

Been training – been shredding 

Straight to the centre 

Cut away to the core

Fuck it – I will go first

I’ll head the call 

For people like me: the ‘inappropriate’; the sensitive 

The refusing to be small

I Am HERE

Not subdued 

I Am here standing tall

Not pleasing or quiet

I will speak for us all 

Please pass me the mic 

No microbiology – I am growing

I Am holding the court 

Truth telling – I Am showing

NOW It’s my turn

Step aside now

Old Sport

*

*

I Am for myself

For Her 

For us all 

I Am trying

In defiance

Of misogyny – And their friends

Its repulsive cohort 

I Am

We Are

Gaining

I Am

Knows the score

*

*

We’re off and we’re mad

We’re mad but not stressed 

I Am is the unison

The strength – The Collective

Fierce and well-dressed

Arms full – Ammunition

Straight-up

Sunday best.