Where is my family?
A Little Story
Why do I feel grief stricken?
Wait
That’s not it
Not stricken – too intense
But laden
Grief-laden
Dropping tiny tears into my scrambled eggs
Grief-laden – feel homesick
Tiny grief-laden tears off they go into the eggs
Tiny little grief-laden scrambled egg tears
Grief-laden and scrambled
Ambivalent towards the chocolate
The chocolate eggs I mean
Usually my favourite
Usually I’d fight you for those guys
Or at the very least, I’d scramble for them:
One
Or two
Ok – three
Chocolate eggs – all in a row
I’d want them ALL
Usually
But not today
Not today – I am laden
🥚
🥚
🥚
Not today
Not today
Not today
Grief-laden and bland
Chocolate eggs – without flavour
Easter bunnies – no taste
M n M’s
Scooped-up in handfuls
A parody of other – Previous
The usual
Easter days
Easter Sun-days
‘These are all mine! Not yours!’
My little play
‘Mwah ha ha ha’
The soliloquy
My little play-act
For the kid
And myself
For the kid – not for me
My little Easter show
My way of showing her
‘Everything this fine’
‘These eggs are All MINE!
Mwah ha ha ha
Ha
Ha
Ha’
Just like usual Sunday-days
Just like usual Easter Sunny Sundays
My little performance
For her
On this
Not usual
Not sunny
Easter
Sunday
*
*
Wiping my tears
Labelling my grief
My grief-laden vibe
‘Just one of those things’
I put on my smile
Jumping right in
‘Ok! Grab those cakes, it’s time to tuck-in!’
Chocolate-covered-frosted-flakes
Let’s eat them all
The usual Easter
Crunchy cakes
The usual Easter
Bad boy tray bakes
*
*
Suppressed tears in the bathroom
It’s so strange this is happening
Where is my family
My friends
Throwing eggs at one-another
From two meters apart
Over the white picket fence
?
?
?
Where is my family
My friends
My Easter compadres
My partner in crime
?
Isolating and isolated
Crying over the scrambled eggs ?
Or any eggs at all
Where is my family
Where are we ALL
Right now
In this moment
At home
Our own homes
But is it Easter
Or is it not!
When we’re all alone..
Who’s out there
Enjoying
The chocolate
The sweets
The sugar-coated
Delicious little
Tasty treats
Who’s out there ?
Eating
No – scoffing
Licking and slurping
Dipping
And biting
Into
Chocolate covered
Easter feasts
?
Who’s out there
?
Bemoaning the lunch
The kid doesn’t see
I’m The Mamma
The Bunny:
The fun-maker
The Easter baker
The Easter pancakes – pancake slayer
Just perfect for her
For Easter’s her day
Her perfect Easter lunch
On a less than perfect
Easter Day
*
*
Frustration all the way
Is it Easter or is it neigh?
Not just ‘some other day’
In isolation
All the same
Some other day – Sweet refrain!
In isolation
Exactly the same
All the Same
Easter is Easter
Only in name
*
*
Trying not to frown as I sit on the couch
Where is my family
A ‘grief-laden’ thought
We are all safe, all healthy
‘Count your blessings’ – for sure
It’s all that we’ve got
Easter – my favourite
But today’s not the same
Today’s- exactly the same
As the four days before
Dissatisfaction with brunch
Feels like a chore
Easter egg hunts
And the police at the door
Isolation it knocks
Chap
Chap
Chap
And then once more ✊
They’ve been here before
‘Just checking you’re fine, you guys are all safe’
‘No one is making unnecessary journeys, you’re going nowhere?’
*‘I’m going nowhere, haven’t been ‘Any-Where’ for weeks’
‘Perfect, you’ve got this, you know where we are..’
‘Thank you, I appreciate it.’
I appreciate it a lot.
I’m shaking
Still strange – the police at the door
I’m grateful for their calling – their Isolation checks
But I want them to stay
Come sit for a bit
Celebrate our achievements; our Easter egg hunt
Come stay, for a minute
A wee cup of tea
Take a seat
Have a chat
Too late
They’re away
Done their bit now they’re gone
Vamooosh
It’s Easter
Soooooo loooooong
Keeping the distance
Protecting – themselves
Leaving us – to ourselves
Cocooned
No – secured
In our
Easter isolation
Isolating shells
*
*
Supressing a choke
I just stand at the door
Take a deep breath
Step
Back
Step
In
Let it close
It’s Easter
‘So it is’
‘So it is’
There’s an echo
A din
*
*
Where is my family?
It’s Easter
Today
Usually one of my favourites
Usually
Most days
Any day – really
A cause to celebrate
Chocolate spread on toast!
Usually my favourite
My favourites
It’s Easter
I know…
It’s Easter
For sure
No church
No big meal
No ‘Billy Big-Time’
My Family – my favourites
Two meters
Big fence
‘Just us’
So it is
It’s Easter?
No them
It’s Easter?
No favourites?
It’s Easter?
That echo
It’s Easter?
Since when?
Woman in Conversation 